©2014 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved
I am a Gullah woman from the sea islands of Charleston, South Carolina and I really am in love with people. But I also know there are so many other sides of me and everybody that knows me may not experience all sides of me. One friend I met ten years ago here in south Florida dropped by my house to meet my husband, mom and children. She said to my husband: "Do you know she flirts with everybody?" Hubby: "The woman talks to everybody, I've gotten used to it." But the truth is I am not that one-dimensional. I have days when I don’t want to talk to anybody and that can include my family. I have days when I encounter people who are trying to hustle or hurt me and/or my family and I have to open a can of...you know what. I have had a day when the bus driver almost ran over me and my kid and I wasn't nice at all; matter of fact, I was angry and cruel. Also, when playing racquetball, I am a fierce competitor, you better back up your trash talking or you will get a beat down. The truth is: nobody is always nice and that includes me too. I also have times when I am deeply pensive--lost in thought, and I can become consumed with the injustices of the world. There are also times when just the lyrics of a simple song will deeply penetrate my heart and I cry. My name is Theda Okona and I have learned to embrace every part of me--that includes the shadow too. Two things are needed to make a shadow. The first is light and the second is something that blocks the light; together these two things make us who we are; so thankful today that God sees my light and my shadow and still loves me. This is Tuesday talk.
©2014 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved
0 Comments
King Solomon got the opportunity of a lifetime; God asked him, "What do you want?" I call it the Old Testament story of a man winning the lottery ticket. In my mind's eye, God knocks on the door and he answers. Solomon and God have the conversation of a lifetime; God lets him get everything off his chest and then God asked: "What do you want?" If God asked Solomon certainly God has asked you and me the same question. I am sure Solomon pondered the question before answering and probably thought of all he had to deal with in real life. You and I too are like Solomon; what happens in real life matters. Sometimes everyday life is comprised of: my mom just had a heart attack; I am 8,000 miles away from home and can't be with her because I will lose my job and won't be able to support my disabled twins. Every day life happens and someone shouts to God, "I found the woman of my dreams but she is married with five children and her husband has been in a coma for the last year and a half." Where is the wisdom, the insight and the understanding when we need it? I have come to understand that wisdom is not trying harder or knowing more--it is a quiet surrender to just listening and trusting more. Wisdom doesn't mean I have all the answers but I talk to God because God can handle it. This is Tuesday talk. ©2014 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted hope not just for myself but for the entire world. What I wanted was peace of mind and joy divine--something filled with God's goodness. The brilliantly red Christmas Cardinal symbolizes beauty, cheer, hope and the inspiration of the season. It is my reminder this year to focus on my faith. I grew up believing that Christmas was a time when wonderful and glorious things happened; a time to celebrate because wise royal visitors went to see a child and at midnight the animals talked. As a child, I was cognizant of an everlasting star known as Jesus who was born in a manger. When I was a child, I spoke as a child and I believed as a child; I am no longer a child, but I still long for the wonderful and the glorious. Even in a world where there is much suffering and brokenness, I keep looking for miracles. Somebody's brother has been diagnosed with cancer this season, somebody's sister died in a horrible accident; but I still look for the miraculous. Somebody's situation is turned upside down because their twelve year old disabled son is still in diapers; I still look for miracles. Somebody's womb is still barren after all these years and they have no children to give presents to; yet I am still hoping for the Cardinal's blessings. 1. My hope is on the first day of Christmas my true love will open my heart and I will know what it means to love and be loved in return. 2. On the 2nd day, may my Beloved open my eyes so I can see hearts of gold in a world so cold. 3. On the 3rd day, I'm looking for generosity of spirit because you don't have to be rich to be generous, even a pauper can give like a prince when the heart is right. 4. On the 4th day, let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. 5. On the 5th day, when things seem so hopeless, I pray for a ray of light to provide illumination. 6. On the 6th day, may I throw myself into the joy of Christmas not because I spent the most money but because the festive, the frazzle, the food, the friends and the family created a beautiful thing. 7. On the 7th day, may I know that the music never ends if the concert is in my heart. 8. On the 8th day, may I experience a tradition that is priceless and its memory precious even when the season is over. 9. On the 9th day, may I find God present no matter where I find myself. 10. On the 10th day, may I not be fooled by appearances; gifts that last a lifetime can't be bought in a store. 11. On the 11th day, let the holiday candles remind me to keep shining; for darkness can't exist where the light is. 12. On the 12th day of Christmas, I hope I don't miss its goodness because I focused on all the wrong things. This is Tuesday talk and this is what I really want. ©2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved I miss my years of professional storytelling; I find myself returning to the foundation of those roots as I write my novel. Many have asked, “How does one become a storyteller?” Storytelling is a timeless art; you’ve got to be called to do it. I didn't understand it then but now I know the storyteller is "the griot" who provides education, entertainment, and cultural preservation. Many of our contemporary storytellers use the medium of writing and film but before such a time as this, oral traditions were carried in the soul of the griot from generation to generation. Also, the griot didn't just tell stories--the griots were the historian, praise singer, poet and musician. They were the social and political commentators of the day and they always had something to say. However, I am learning just because you have something to say doesn't mean you should talk all the time. The wise griot also knows when to shut up. The story of "The Talking Skull" is one I have told to many children including my own. Enjoy! A Tale from West Africa A hunter came upon a huge tree with a whitened skull at its base. The skull spoke and said, "Beyond a certain hill is a field of calabashes. Take them to your hungry village, but do not tell anyone how you obtained them." "How did you come to be here?" asked the hunter. "My mouth killed me--talking brought me here," said the skull. The hunter returned to the village with the calabashes and immediately told everyone, "A talking skull showed me a field of food!" The hunter started singing: “I have met a talking skull, a skull talk to me, go and tell The Chief this is something he must see.” The Chief called him a liar. "Then come with me! I'll prove what I say is true. When they arrived at the tree, the hunter spoke to the skull but it remained silent. “How did you get here?” he asked. “How did you get here?!” he shouted. The skull said nothing. The hunter was put to death on the spot for lying. The Chief demanded his head. In time, two whitened skulls sat beneath the tree. The first turned to the second and said, "See, in death we meet again, my kin. It's true a mouth can do you in!" The first skull asked: “How did you get here?” The second skull replied: “Talking brought me here.” This is Tuesday talk. © 2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved The plane made a touchdown on the runway close to midnight--I got excited because I knew she was waiting for me. By the time I got to baggage claim at the San Francisco Airport it was exactly midnight--the same hour that I gave birth to her in September of 1990. Her arms open, joy was visible in those beautiful amber colored eyes--she was glad to see me. We both cried for what seemed like an eternity, but it was just a moment. She is no longer a child; she has learned to put those things away. But she is still my baby even though she no longer wants me to be responsible for her every need. Somebody pays her to be present at photo shoots, write blogs and press releases; she gets to pour her creative juices into a brand of fresh apparel and custom goods that celebrate "LOCAL LOVE AND ORIGINAL OAKLAND CHARM." She works at a place best known for their t-shirts but community work is an equally important part of what they do. She has found a way to make a living and feed her soul; she has also surrounded herself with an eclectic group of people who don't need to tear her down to build themselves up. My daughter inspired me this weekend to proceed forward and be bold. She is the reminder that nobody is coming with a silver platter to bring you your dreams; if you want something be bold enough to go after it and get it. This is Tuesday talk. www.oaklandish.com © 2013 Theda Okona All Right Reserved A wise woman was hiking in the mountains when she encountered another hiker who was a bit famished. He asked her, “What do you have in that bag you’re carrying?”She replied, “Some water, a bit of food and some joy.” He asked, “How can you carry joy in a bag?” “I don’t really carry joy in my bag but rather a note I wrote to myself when I get discouraged on the journey.” The man no longer concerned with his hunger was now more intrigued with the note. “What does the note say?”It simply says: ‘No matter what happens, don’t isolate yourself from joy; look at the clouds, they are always speaking—oh such joy.’ The hiker sighed and asked if he could just have some of the food and water. The wise woman gave him what he wanted but he had to give something in return. She asked for his address. Also she reminded him, "You will never see me again but a year from now you will receive a note from me--if you have a porch sit on it and read the note." One year later, the hiker was sitting on his front porch, his wife had died; she was killed in a horrible car accident six months ago. The last six months have been hell; he had isolated himself from everything and everybody. His only contact was with the clerk at the local grocery store, but only after hours and the mailman to receive obligatory bills and such. On this fall evening the mailman arrives approximately 6:00 pm, he gives the man his mail and leaves--they have an agreement, there is to be no small talk between them. He goes through the mail and along with bills and such there is a note. Wondering to himself: "Who could this be from?" He opens the note and immediately remembers the woman on the trail. He also recalled how ridiculous he thought she was--who would ask for a stranger's address to send him a note a year from now in exchange for food and water? He sits with the note for a few moments before opening it. He finally reads it just as the autumn evening sky made its entrance. The note said: "Happiness comes and goes but joy stays when it finds a home." This is Tuesday talk. ©2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved Photo Credit: MamaWestWind's "Northern Adventure: The Autumn Sky" If you live in south Florida, the seasons don't change and it is only this time of the year it blows my mind. ::Laughing Out Loud:: The typography is one color—green. Am I complaining about the greenness of this place? No way, the land is paradise and south Floridians know it. Even in the midst of craziness, phoniness, crooked business dealings and economic unrest for many; south Floridians’ pride and joy comes from flip flops, tank tops, the beach, and easy living--it is our motto. Summer’s our way of life--rest, relax, chill, drink, and be merry; then start all over again. We take the summer for granted and forget that summer can't always last especially not in our lives. There is a season for everything and a time for every purpose under heaven. Consider this parable: "There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son disagreed, saying it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son also disagreed he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, and the fulfillment of your fall." I have had to embrace every season this year even though I live in south Florida. I have found reverence, renewal, rest, and reflection in each season of my life and I have learned…winter is inevitable; it gets cold and things wither away, sometimes the very thing that we love the most, winter takes it away. Winter can be bleak, colorless, and dry--in our lives we can be overlooked, alone and depressed--spiritually barren. But just as we think winter is going to stay, God changes the landscape and spring arrives. Spring is a time of new beginnings. It is a time for us to be patient. It is a time of seeing seeds that have been planted grow into new relationships, new connections, and new opportunities. The cold blast of winter is gone and spring says hope has arrived and we get excited. Spring stays for a moment and then summer's beauty and bliss is embraced by all--a time for rest and relaxation. It is a time to be a little less productive and let the joy of living overflow; all that we have worked for has finally come--"we stop and smell the roses." After summer's relaxation, we must reflect. Fall is a time to gain new perspective; a time to be grateful and count our blessings. What season are you in right now? I am not talking about your landscape—what season is your life in right now? Wherever you are, stay connected to the source from which your blessings flow. This is Tuesday talk. ©2010/2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life" Chuck Swindoll We all have that favorite movie with the great outtakes. What is yours? Sometimes when I am having a really challenging day I look for outtakes on video--you can't watch the outtakes of a movie and not laugh out loud. Some of my favorites are: "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," "Liar Liar," and any Tyler Perry movie. I love the outtakes more than the movie because all the good stuff happens in the outtakes. An outtake is portion of a creative work (usually a film or music recording) that is removed in the editing process and not included in the work's final publicly released version. These humorous mistakes made in the process of creating masterpieces are called bloopers; I kind of understand why. BLOOPERS for me is an acronym for: BEING able to LET OUTRAGEOUS OOPS happen; they PRODUCE ENOUGH ROLLING on the floor SOMETIMES to keep us human). Of course I made that up, but seriously we need to find the good stuff when some of our outrageous oops happens; they really do produce enough rolling on the floor moments to keep us human. A favorite "life blooper" of mine is falling off the treadmill a few years ago. I was singing (not loud) and in the zone and all of a sudden I was flying off that machine and onto the floor. The lady next to me got off her treadmill and made sure I was okay but once it was established all was well, she bursted into laughter. At first, I was a little annoyed but the more I thought about it, the funnier it was--one minute I was grooving to Earth, Wind and Fire and in the next second I was on the floor. The lady laughed and so did I, nobody was hurt and this was an outtake to laugh out loud about. When was the last time you had an outrageous oops happen that had you on the floor laughing? The one that laughs the most lives the longest--this is Tuesday talk. ©2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved I have posted this blog a few times--revisiting it today in honor of "National Coffee Day" on Sunday. The girls and I have coffee most Sunday mornings after church and those Sunday mornings have added so much to my life. Thank God for coffee! A friend of mine had a coffee cup that was stolen from her; the lost affected her because it was more than just a cup--it had so much sentimental value. The words on the mug said: "Let this be the day when you can honestly say you’ve lived life to the fullest." The story made me think about life and what the spirit of life would say to us if it could speak. My twist on Edith Wharton's words: She was at the end. Through her mind she saw fragmented images of the life she was leaving, she had swallowed her last dose of medicine. She was choking and she could not breathe and then finally she was dead. She stood on the threshold of a gate to something that was not so tangible. She stepped forward not frightened as her eyes became more familiar with the light. "How beautiful, how satisfying!" she murmured. "Perhaps now I will really know what it means to live." As she spoke she felt a thickening of her heart beat and looking up she was aware that before her stood the Spirit of Life. The Spirit of Life asked, "Have you ever known what it is to live?" "I have never known," she replied. We live in a world where we are preoccupied with everything except living life to the fullest. I asked myself what can be done every day to improve on this and got completely overwhelmed. A three hundred and sixty five day plan was too much. How could I condense this? This is only a suggestion but could be very workable. Chose a specific number of items you are going to focus on and make it happen in your personal life. I chose the number 12. Twelve is one of the smallest numbers that has a large number of factors, i.e. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6; all divide into 12 without a remainder. The number twelve signifies perfection or completion. The Christ had 12 disciples, there are 12 months in a year, Jacob had 12 sons which became 12 tribes--12 seem to be a completely balanced number. Well here it goes I have twelve coffee cups that I am willing to fill and may it be said when I am dead and gone that I lived life to the fullest. Filling cup #1 with kindness and understanding because you can't create hell in the lives of others all day and expect to sleep heavenly all night. Filling cup #2 with discernment because Hollywood superficial friendships are not the same as heart and home connections--got to know the difference. Filling cup #3 with critical thinking because knowledge knows a tomato is a fruit but wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. The tomato is not just a fruit--you've got to know how to use it. Filling cup #4 with real relationships because the word "family" doesn't always mean blood related. The ties that bind are deeply felt and deeply known by us all. Filling cup #5 with tenacity because sometimes you have to take the stairs a hundred flights up especially when there is no elevator. Work what you got to get what you want. Filling cup #6 with thankfulness because the true blessings are the things money can't buy--count them often and your soul will be satisfied. Filling cup #7 with laughter because those that laugh the most see the doctor the least. Filling cup #8 with education because the best teacher is also the best student. Filling cup #9 with perspective because there is no u-haul to take my stuff with me once my earthly life is over. Give the best you've got while you are alive. Filling cup #10 with the golden rule because even if you don't believe it--you reap what you sow, so plant good seeds and karma will be a better friend. Filling cup #11 with the bottom line because money only gives you choices. Love, health and contentment are not for sale. Filling cup #12 with love because it covers a multitude of faults even the ones I think should not be included. This is Tuesday talk and my cup is filled. ©2011/2012/2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved |
Blogger Bio:Theda Okona is a former storyteller and co-host for an internet radio broadcast. She lives to be inspired. Adjunct Professor at Miami Dade College, Writer, Speaker, Vocalist and Author of Clouds of Grace--she has a Master of Arts in Education and a Bachelor of Arts in English. Archives
July 2018
Categories
All
|