© 2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved
If it happens to your neighbor it is unfortunate, but if it happens to you it is a tragedy. We show dignity and respect for a person when we meet them where they are and look past what turns us off. It may be hard, but we shouldn't look away; we should embrace their humanity because maybe if we were dealt the same cards, we would know what it means to walk in their shoes. A friend of mine goes twice a month into what some would consider the lowest of places and picks two or three women that need their hair groomed. She takes them to her house and lets them shower then she fixes their hair. Some would consider that as nothing and ask, "Is that all she does?" Yes, that is all she does--she doesn't ask them many questions and she doesn't have a hidden agenda. If they want to talk she listens, if not all is quiet and she does her thing and takes them back where she found them. How many of us would pick up two or three people, take them to our homes and groom their hair? I asked my friend, "Why don't you let the world know what you are doing--what kind of feedback do you get from doing this?" She said, "What feeds me is the smile on their faces--it keeps me grounded and reminds me, I am only human." This is Tuesday Talk.
© 2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved
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A friend told me a couple of weeks ago, "It is discouraging to work all week and all weekend as a creative person and get nothing in return; I am thinking about doing something else. What do you think?" My advice: Hone your craft, know what you can and can't do; focus on your strengths and not your flaws. Also, everybody doesn't make millions being creative, so if your only motivation for creating is to make millions forget it! You can make a living doing it but you've got to love the craft more than the money--period! In the creative industry so many things are beyond our control. We all have bought the book, read the story, considered the advice of the guru, and heard the vocalist in the business that made it big. We ask ourselves, "How did they get a deal?" Don't worry about that, when God drops you a gold nugget, be thankful. Once I was asked to sing one song for a luncheon in Washington, DC. At the time, I lived in Dallas--the client flew me to the city, paid for my accommodations, meal and any other expenses. In addition to all of that, I got a check for $650.00 for one song. For me that was big, but I have also been paid far less and was just as happy. Those of us who create are the super sensitives of the world; our hearts are open to whatever God wants to implant in it and share with the world. If you need to, get a job to pay the bills but don't stop creating. Creating for you is the way you live, move and have your being--don't give that up! There will be detours, distractions and discouragements--don't give up keep living, keep inspiring. This is Tuesday talk. © 2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved As we were riding home and waiting for the jury’s verdict, I happened to glance at my youngest son as he sat in the back seat of the car leaning forward as if he were watching the events unfold through the radio. His face was full of anticipation. His eyes were intent. His belief in the justice system was untarnished. My heart was racing and I began to feel queasy. I took a few deep breaths to try and control the sense of impending disappointment that I have become accustomed to preparing myself for. In matters such as these, I’ve learned to prepare for the worse…to have no expectations. It’s a defense mechanism that I’ve worked on for as long as I can remember. You see, being a black person in America has been quite a challenge. While I am a proud American, I have always felt a clear distinction between being American and being African American. There has always seemed to be two existing paths to everything. There’s one that is traveled by Americans and another for the journey of the African American. While both paths can arguably lead to success, the road that I have access to is wrought with obstacles, pitfalls and hidden agendas. It’s filled with dead ends, detours and setbacks. It’s dark, uphill, and challenging to navigate. The very design seems downright sinister. Because the other road was developed to help Americans reach their goals, they are able to make it safely to their intended destination without incidence. This makes it difficult for them to understand the challenges that I face. After all, how would they know when they have never been on the path? I mean really, could I expect that a jury of six made up of at least five Americans would see that Trayvon Martin should have been able to return home safely from the store that fateful night? Could I really expect them to see that he did not deserve to die? Could I expect them to see that George Zimmerman had no right to approach him? Could I expect them to see that George Zimmerman should have followed the advisement of the dispatcher who told him not to follow Trayvon? Could I really expect them to put themselves in Trayvon’s shoes and think about how they would feel if a stranger were following them? Could I really expect them to see the value in Trayvon’s life? Probably not. Unfortunately, Trayvon Martin was just another kid on the wrong path and that’s all Americans seem to be able to see. Oh how I long to travel on the American path. I stand in front of it often and peer down its open and bright entryway. Every now and again I find the courage to take a few awkward steps on that road. Americans notice me immediately and redirect me to my own familiar path. That’s what happened tonight. Tonight the “Not Guilty” verdict ripped the innocence from my youngest son’s eyes while simultaneously proving that the blindfold on lady justice’s eyes has slipped just beneath them. The small glimmer of hope that I could gain access to the American path was gone in an instant. I felt a sense of defeat, a bit of anger, a smidgeon of disbelief, and an overwhelming sense of sadness and disappointment. All are reminders of the journey that I must endure as an African American. Rest in peace Trayvon. http://www.learningtodream.com/ http://www.learning2dream.blogspot.com/ Rest is as spiritually necessary as faith, hope or love--so reminded of it in this moment. Backed into my garage today, left my dog outside overnight last night and hung up on my husband--garage can be fixed, no harm came to the dog and my husband has already forgiven me...thank goodness! These are just a few minor irritations; I know there are many struggling with relationships, circumstances and situations so much heavier to bear than these. I read Matthew 11: 28-30 today; it was so comforting to me in a fresh and new way. At first glance, I thought, "Really Lord?" This does not make any sense—if it is a yoke, you carry it and it isn’t easy and there are some burdens that can take you out. An oxymoron doesn't make sense but then again it does, for example, God reminded me that a minor crisis makes me clearly confused when I don't get enough rest. He is my Father and hears my silent screams and my loud whispers; I am being properly ridiculous when I think he doesn't want the best for me. Yoke is easy; burden is light is not old news--it is the good news. Going to rest--love you all! This is Tuesday talk. ©2013 Theda Okona All Rights Reserved |
Blogger Bio:Theda Okona is a former storyteller and co-host for an internet radio broadcast. She lives to be inspired. Adjunct Professor at Miami Dade College, Writer, Speaker, Vocalist and Author of Clouds of Grace--she has a Master of Arts in Education and a Bachelor of Arts in English. Archives
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